The Uninvited Guest

Grief didn't come in slow motion with a wine glass in hand listening to Lana Del Rey. Grief didn't knock the door before entering nor did it call to announce its arrival.

It was just there one fine day with me in my bed staring at me with its pitch black eyes.When I saw it, I almost didn't recognize it. How disappointing it was to realize that all

the art and music and movies made me picture Grief a certain way, almost a beautiful way, but here it was unlike anything I ever imagined. It had no shape, no color, no face but it wasn't ordinary. Its presence could not be missed. It was powerful yet it didn't scare me. We both knew each other from a long time ago. And when I saw the smile on Grief's faceless face, I remembered everything.

Grief didn't wish me good morning or shook my hand, it just engulfed me into its heavy arms. The warmth made me feel safe and for a change, less lonely.
I asked Grief to stay for brunch and Grief never left. After that, Grief became my constant companion listening to everything I said and all that I didn't. It was like two childhood friends drifted apart and then years later got reunited; it felt like a really beautiful book you once read in your childhood but now when you have grown up, you just remember the bits of that story but are sure that that story was good.
We were happy but Grief wouldn't accept that, said that the feeling 'Happiness' didn't suit its character though whatever it felt was pretty close to happiness.

Later, when the euphoria of having a best friend faded away I saw the imperfections of Grief. Not those little imperfections which make something beautiful and unique but the kind which irks you.
Grief would pick up a book and half way through the first chapter, bookmark the page never to open it again.Grief would spill the colors on the floor, painting everything except the plain white sheet in front of it.Grief would pile up its plate with all the food and then throw it all down the drain. Grief would try on everything in the wardrobe, only to reject it all and then sulk over its misfortune. Grief would blast EDM and dance the whole night and some days put on the saddest tracks and drown in its own misery. Grief would not sleep at night and then never woke up in the day. Grief would not let sunlight enter the room and would never water it's plants. Grief would not let me go out with my friends because it felt left out with them. Grief would make me listen to all its irrational and weird thoughts and would explain why it didn't like anybody or why nobody liked it. Grief would burn my journal saying that it's a waste of time. Grief would disapprove of everything and everyone I liked saying that I wasn't good enough for them. And whenever I used to go against it, Grief would shout and hurt me.

The warmth of Grief's arms which was once a net of safety for me was now slowly suffocating me. I wanted to throw Grief out of my room never to let it get close to me ever again. But it wasn't that easy. Firstly, however Grief was, it was my friend and hurting it like that seemed too much. Also, once Grief would have gone who would have filled in its place in my life. But I decided that the pain of loneliness was much more bearable than the pain of Grief crawling under my nerves.
So I started thinking of ways to make that uninvited guest leave. After one thousand and eighty three futile attempts, something that Grief once babbled struck me, 'To defeat a diabolical devil you'll have to think like a diabolical devil'. So I started doing what it has been doing all along, overpower.

Days melted into months and then one fine day, I saw the front door of the house open. Amidst the sunlight pouring in my room, green leaves of plants dancing to the rhythm of air,'Can't Help Falling In Love With You' playing on the stereo, stacks of read books neatly placed in the bookshelf, completed paintings on the wall,I saw a note beside the bed under my journal. It said, 'Hope to see you again soon.' And Grief made me smile again.